A lot of this is good information, but I can't recommend this to a redditor whose meta is emotionally abusing their spouse because you've got a lot of victim blaming going on and demonizing neurodivergent traits that people like me (I'm AuDHD) have no control over.

There are definitely people who weaponize their conditions *because they're abusers.* But there are far more people who don't weaponize their conditions are hate how their ADHD and/or autism gets in the way of their various interpersonal relationships.

I was lovebombed by someone who I helped realize they were also autistic. They ended up weaponizing this against me and claiming I was the one who was doing this instead when my meta was abusing me through this partner by proxy and I tried to reaffirm my needs and boundaries. Calling them out on this made them suicidal, but I didn't hear about it from my partner, I heard about it from my meta, who then verbally abused me for "setting this off" while also refusing to let me talk to my partner AND refusing to hide the box of razorblades my partner had already been using to cut themselves. In the end, my partner broke up with me purportedly *because I was concerned for their safety and tried to check up on them* because I couldn't handle the radio silence I was getting for days after this happened.

It's irresponsible to call out ADHD even with the hedge words you use because ableism already predisposes people to be dismissive of the real challenges we face and assume we're just "making excuses" when we're honestly hating ourselves for not being able to focus/concentrate/remember things like "normal people" can. "Normal people" make excuses for their bad behavior far more often than disabled people weaponize their disabilities to try to excuse bad behavior.

Also, autistic people like me are often (but not always) naive and too trusting, easily preyed upon because we miss red flags, and including "hypersensitive" as a red flag is pretty ableist. "Enraged when criticized" is a red flag. Being hypersensitive is often a trauma response.

I realize this post is several years old by now, but there is a lot of problematic advice in here that frames certain types of disabled people as abusers, and a lot of these disabled people are blissfully unaware they have these disabilities, so end up unfairly blaming themselves when things go wrong because articles like this tell them they're bad people.